They’re tiny.  They’re cute.  And these little ladies have even been known to steal the show!  Today we’re talking all things flower girls!   We’ve already explored the history of flower girls.  So now let’s dig a little deeper and get practical, answering those frequently asked questions about these adorable petal tossers.


Flower Girl Questions

Do I need a flower girl in my ceremony?

No, you don’t.  Flower girls add a great cute factor, but they aren’t necessary.  So feel free to do away with tradition if you’re not interested or don’t have a young person to fill the role.

Who should be the flower girl?

Flower girls can be daughters, nieces, cousins or even a friend’s daughter.  There’s no rule here.

How old they be?

Typically, they range in age from 3 to 8 years old.  Regardless of the age, just be sure that they will actually walk down the aisle and not clam up at the sight of all strange faces looking at them.  I’ve had to walk several flower girls down the aisle in my time.

How many flower girls can I have?

There’s no limit.  If you have a bunch of nieces or cousins, you can include them all to avoid anyone feeling left out.  Just consider having at least one older one to help the younger girls.  You can even have them hold hands to make them feel safe & comfortable walking down the aisle together, or even consider putting the smallest ones in a wagon pulled by eldest.

What should they wear?

There are no hard and fast rules here.  They can wear a dress similar to the bride’s or you can have them coordinated with the bridesmaids in color or style.  You can even put them in something completely unique.   The choice is yours!

Who pays for the dress?

Typically, the parents of the flower girl will pay for her attire.  If you want her to wear something that’s rather pricey, you may want to consider covering all, or at least a good portion, of the cost.

Do they have to throw flowers?

No, not at all.  They can carry balloons, blow bubbles, carry a small sign saying “the bride is coming,” or anything else you envision.   Again, there are no rules here.

How do they process into the ceremony?

The flower girl typically enters after the maid/matron of honor and before the bride.  They can either remain at the altar with the other bridesmaids during the ceremony or have them sit with their parent(s) to keep them from being a fidgety distraction for your guests.

Do I have to have them at the reception?

Nope, not if you don’t want to.  If you’re hosting an adult-only reception, it’s perfectly acceptable to not have your flower girls there.  However, it is imperative that you communicate this to her parents ahead of time so that they can make the necessary arrangements, especially if you’re inviting the parents to stay.

Should I send them a thank you gift?

It’s certainly a nice gesture, but let’s be honest, you’d be doing it for yourself & for her parents since it’s highly unlikely that a 5 year old will understand the concept of a thank you gift.  If you choose to get her a gift, just know that it doesn’t have to be expensive.  I cute doll or toy, or even a personalized jewelry box or other memento that she can have for years to come, is sufficient.


Are there alternatives to a flower girl?

Absolutely!  In the past few years, couples have swung the pendulum on flower girls.  They have shifted from using the cute little ladies to recruiting their grandmothers or even a close friend with a great personality to carry this honor.  Other couples have given the role to a well-trained pet that can respond well to cues of when & where to walk.

If you still like the idea of using young girls on your day, but don’t want them to walk down the aisle, you could use them as greeters to wave and welcome guests as they enter the ceremony; this is sure to set a fun & cute mood for your day.  If they are a little older, you can use them as ushers to hand out programs and escort guests to their seats.

The point here is that there are no rules.  This is your day.  So look outside the box and make your day personal, unique & memorable!

We hope this answers most, if not all, of your flower girl questions .  Leave us a comment if there’s anything else we can share or answer for you.

Happy Planning!

Check out our blog on the history of flower girls to learn where this adorable tradition came from.
We explore more wedding tradition history with the bridal bouquet, wedding cake and bridesmaids posts.
For even more, check out our blog home page for more tips, tricks & insight from your #WeddingPlanningCoach.
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