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Flower Girl 101

flower girl

Flower Girl Questions

Do I need a flower girl in my ceremony?

No, you do not need a flower girl or flower child as part of your wedding ceremony.  While flower children can add a great cute factor, but they aren’t necessary.  So feel free to do away with tradition if you’re not interested or don’t have a young person to fill the role.

Who should be the flower girl?

Flower girls can be any young person you know – daughters, nieces, cousins or even a friend’s child.  There’s no rule here.

How old they be?

Typically, a flower child ranges in age from 3 to 8 years old.  Regardless of the age, though, just be sure that they will actually walk down the aisle and not clam up at the sight of all strange faces looking at them.  I’ve had to walk several flower girls down the aisle in my time.

How many flower girls can I have?

There’s no limit.  If you have a several young children you’d want to participate in your ceremony, include them all to avoid anyone feeling left out.  Just be sure to consider having at least one older one to help the younger kids.  You can even have them hold hands to make them feel safe & comfortable walking down the aisle together. Another option is to put the smallest ones in a wagon pulled by eldest.

What should they wear?

The choice of attire is completely personal. There are no hard and fast rules.  They can wear a dress similar to the bride’s or you can have them coordinated with the bridesmaids in color or style.  You can even put them in something completely unique.   The choice is yours!

Who pays for the dress?

Typically, the parents of the flower girl will pay for her attire.  However, if you want her to wear something that’s rather pricey, you may want to consider covering all, or at least a good portion, of the cost.

Do they have to throw flowers?

No, not at all.  They can carry balloons, blow bubbles, carry a small sign saying “the bride is coming,” or anything else you envision.   Again, there are no rules here.

How do they process into the ceremony?

The flower girl typically enters after the maid/matron of honor, just before the bride.  They can either remain at the altar with the bridesmaids during the ceremony or have them sit with their parent(s) to keep them from being a cute, yet fidgety, distraction for your guests.

Do I have to have them at the reception?

No, you don’t have to include the little people.  If you’re hosting an adult-only reception, it’s perfectly acceptable to not have your flower girls there.  However, it is imperative that you communicate this to their parents ahead of time so that they can make the necessary arrangements, especially if you’re inviting the parents to stay. As an alternative, consider offering to cover the cost of child care or give the parents a small monetary gift to cover the cost of gas for someone else to pick up the child.

Should I send them a thank you gift?

Sending the child a gift is certainly a nice gesture. But let’s be honest here, you’d be doing it more for yourself & their parents since it’s highly unlikely that a 5 year old will understand the concept of a thank you gift.  If you choose to get them a gift, just know that it doesn’t have to be expensive.  I cute doll or toy, or even a personalized jewelry box or other memento that they can have for years to come, is sufficient.

Are there alternatives to a flower girl?

Absolutely!  In the past few years, couples have swung the pendulum on flower girls.  They have shifted from using the cute little ladies to recruiting their grandmothers or even a close friend with a great personality to carry this honor.  Other couples have even given the role to a well-trained pet that can respond well to cues of when & where to walk. The fact is, the possibilities are endless!

If you still like the idea of using young girls on your day, but don’t want them to walk down the aisle, you could use them as greeters to wave and welcome guests as they enter the ceremony. This is sure to set a fun & cute tone for your big day.  If they are a little older, you can use them as ushers to hand out programs and escort guests to their seats.

I hope you see here that there’s no right or wrong. There are no rules.  This is your day.  So think outside the box and make your day personal, unique & memorable!

We hope this answers most, if not all, of your flower girl questions .  Leave us a comment if there’s anything else we can share or answer for you. Check out our blog for more wedding planning tips.

Happy Planning!

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